


Safe Places

by whatadaytoexplode



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst, Ben is the Soft One™, Dark!Rey, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/M, Force Bond (Star Wars), HEA Mothafucka, Hurt/Comfort, Idiots in Love, Leia & Son: The Reunion, Lots of feelingsTM, Palpy always manipulatin', Palpy hatin', Palpy lurkin, Rey has Dark Side tendencies and then some, Rey is the Feral One™, They have to, at least to each other, but no of course i won't kill Leia tefuck would i, it will be sad, they kiss, you hear me JJ??
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-01
Updated: 2019-12-01
Packaged: 2021-02-25 05:15:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,711
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21630757
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whatadaytoexplode/pseuds/whatadaytoexplode
Summary: In which they both lived at the end.---Set a year or so after the events of The Last Jedi---
Relationships: Leia Organa & Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Rey & Luke Skywalker, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 1
Kudos: 6





	Safe Places

**Author's Note:**

> I haven't written any fics for years now (depression came back, sucker-punched me and told me to orphan all my work), so I would like to apologize for disappearing!! 
> 
> This story is just stuff that have been on my mind since after TLJ, after having witnessed how differently Rey and Ben act when together compared to how they interact with others.

Rey slowed her run to a stop. She crouched down, her hands on her knees as she caught her breath, feeling the late afternoon sunlight on her sweat-covered skin. Straightening up, she untucked from her belt her half-empty canteen for a drink of water.

Waiting for her was an arduous walk past the dense woods that led to the swamp next to which she had left her belongings earlier. She emptied the flask in her hand and returned it to her side, taking a deep breath before she began her trek with her legs aching for some rest.

For her training, she had decided to isolate herself in a forest a good few miles from the Resistance base. There she was able to meditate and freely practice her Force telekinesis without much distraction. Moreover, the trees surely did not mind the noise and the occasional shots as she practiced her aim in deflecting blaster bolts with her lightsaber, using an old seeker droid—a somehow-still-functional _Marksman-H_ combat remote—that she was able to salvage from the _Millennium Falcon_.

She would have appreciated it if she had someone to spar with. But, considering the grand scheme of things, the remote seeker droid had to do.

She approached the swamp, somehow enjoying the feeling of her feet against the wet, marshy ground that gave with her every step. She approached the boulder and collected her small gear from it, already looking forward to a long bath back at their quarters. Through the small opening of her bag peeked the tip of her refurbished lightsaber, and for no reason in particular she pulled it out. Slinging the bag over her shoulder while never taking her eyes off the weapon, she began her way back to the base. 

The sky was beginning to darken and the suns were no longer blinding—only bright enough to look at. It was her favorite time of the day.

The saber suddenly reminded her of the Jedi texts that she had brought from Ahch-To, for it was through guidance from the ancient books that she was able to repair the weapon, with translation assistance from the protocol droid C-3PO. But with the kyber crystal broken in half, the blade turned out to appear slightly unstable, but still much more refined than Ben Solo's. And it worked just as well as before. 

A sudden pang in her chest made her clip the saber into her utility belt and keep her eyes straight ahead. Not because she was hurting, of course not—but in order to refocus her thoughts as she felt them veer towards a certain someone she'd rather not think of. 

The suns had set almost completely and the Resistance headquarters was now in sight. The respite she was craving after a long day of training was only a little ways on from where she stood. 

But somehow, Rey felt a change; a disturbance in her surroundings, and she couldn't take another step. 

_There is no emotion; there is peace_ , she chanted in her mind, fumbling for a grip on her suddenly flustered feelings.

She closed her eyes, taking a deep breath and releasing it slowly. She could hear the trills and chirps of the inhabitants of the forest at least a mile now behind her—mostly insects and small feathered animals—the sounds of nature that accompanied her when she trained during the day. In front of her, she listened closely to the faint sounds of conversations and laughter from friends and comrades she suddenly had too little energy to face. 

The noise and the quiet, the cold and the warmth. She let her senses be absorbed by the life surrounding her. 

Or almost, she could.

Because beneath her thoughts, a memory lingered, resurfacing from the depths of her mind into which she'd buried it. Eyes. Tearful, lonesome eyes. Lips that quivered in pain and fear and anger—no, not anger, never with her. A pleading voice.

Her thoughts were altogether shaken when it came—an all-too-familiar tremor in the Force. And by then, she already knew what she would see before she even opened her eyes.

* * *

"Your mother needs you." 

With all his focus, Kylo tried to shake off his thoughts, to even at least move a limb, to rouse himself awake because he _knew_ this was a dream—but all to no avail. 

Luke Skywalker stood before him, approaching him again with that patronizing look in his eyes. "Go home, Ben."

Kylo had no other choice but to seek deliverance in his knowledge that soon this would be over, and that soon, as always, he would open his eyes to the dimness of his chambers. He would be alone, but then at least it would be quiet and these visions would fade away. 

However, he knew just as well that the memory would latch onto him—his lingering worry over his mother, the weight of his father’s death—all the constant noise in his mind that were discreetly but very potently tearing him further away from the dark. 

As though deliberately ignoring of the raging unrest within his nephew, Skywalker continued: "You can't ignore her forever. She's the one person left of your family."

Kylo raised his hand in assault, desperate to enter the Jedi Master's mind to drive him out from his; desperate for escape. Luke only stood before him, unimpressed and unaffected by his effort. 

"Get out of my head!" Kylo ground out. He growled in frustration, in anger, his muscles straining and his heart rate spiking. The air that he was shallowly breathing barely reached his lungs. The walls appeared to be closing in around him and the ground beneath his feet began to crumble; whatever light he could see alternated between flickering and brightly flaring; and he could hear someone screaming—Was that his own voice? Where was it coming from, why wouldn't it stop?

It was too much.

Too much.

"She doesn't have long, kid. You know that."

He let his arm fall back down, his entire frame weak and shaking, barely held up by his bones. He was on the brink of collapsing, body and mind, spent from years and years of waging a war—the same war—within his soul. 

Tonight was another battle he was going to lose.

 _Ben_ , he heard a voice, vague and hushed amidst the disarray. _I'm here._

His eyes darted around, frantically seeking. Despite his weakened limbs he strove to walk, but as he did, the turmoil around him redoubled—so much that the noise nearly deafened him. And like a hunted man, he started to run.

_I'm right here._

He took an abrupt halt when he was met with a dead end. He turned again, expecting to see Luke waiting and ready to mock him. But instead he saw light. 

There, at the far end of this seemingly endless dark he was in, lay his mother Leia, dressed in white. She was unmoving, surrounded by flowers in an open casket. _Alone_.

The chaos stilled.

His anger ebbed. Tears blurred his vision.

The next time his uncle spoke, Kylo could hardly hear his words. 

"What are you really fighting for?"

His eyes flew open, just as he was shaken by a deep tremor in the Force, to find himself out of breath and kneeling at the foot of his bed. 

When he looked up, winded and distraught, Rey was standing from across the room. Her presence filled him with comfort and he was basking in it before he could stop himself. His hand rose, reaching out to her. She was here. So close to him, so real—

_Rey?_

She was staring at him, her eyes filled with tears of concern. And Kylo was struck by shame. How long had she been standing there—how much had she seen? He felt a sob come up his own throat before he realized that he had been crying.

"Ben?" she called softly, her voice achingly familiar.

Disbelief clouded his judgment for the briefest moment, before he flung out his trembling hand and severed their bond.

* * *

"You seem troubled." 

Rey looked up from the unlit control panel, breaking out of her daze. She startled, returning her eyes onto the board and fumbling to switch on the proper levers.

She hadn't even noticed that Finn had walked in there at the hangar with her, as well as a handful of other pilots and mechanics. She blinked and mustered a smile. "I'm fine."

"Sleepless night?"

Someone else's, to be specific. "Yeah."

"You'll get less of those once the war is over."

She managed a half-hearted chuckle. How would the war even end? How would the next battle even end? What would it cost again, how many lives? 

"Hopefully soon."

Finn only sighed, nodding in agreement. He placed a hand on her shoulder and squeezed her gently. She muttered her thanks as the man turned to leave. And once more, Rey was left to dwell with her own thoughts.

To say that she was distracted would be a huge understatement. She had been trying to exhaust all of her time on training ever since the General became too busy to send her on assignment, or at least, that was what Rey preferred to believe. Leia had encouraged her to focus more on exploring her powers as a Jedi, insisting that there was so much more for her to learn.

Well, the learning part surely would be easy if her master hadn’t died before she could complete her training. It was one thing to read translated information from the ancient Jedi texts—the ones she’d stolen, er, _borrowed_ from when she was on Ahch-To—but applying them in actual practice was a whole other.

It was clear to Rey that Leia had abilities as well as knowledge on the Force, otherwise she would never have survived the First Order ambush on the _Raddus_ last year. However, when Rey suggested for the older woman to teach her, she only received a smile and the advice of seeking out her master. Her master who was dead.

“You’ll find that he’s never truly left,” Leia had said. Cryptic. Not at all helpful. Luke was _gone_.

Rey had tried calling out to him in the Force, but she must have been doing something wrong because he had never shown himself to her. She’d told Leia about her predicament, but she, much like the other Skywalker, still refused to teach her. And with her friends were always out on missions—Poe and Finn again on a top-secret reconnaissance to an Outer Rim system, Rose barely getting any sleep due to the very slim number of technicians in the Resistance while having too many ships and starfighters to restore—Rey had no one to turn to.

In moments such as this, when she was at the end of her rope and soaked to the bone with frustration, was when her thoughts would stray toward Ben Solo.

He was the enemy now, she would remind herself as always. Perhaps he always had been. Perhaps there had been no conflict inside him all along. Perhaps she’d misread the compassion in his eyes and the gentle kindness in his touch.

But she had done her part. And Ben had made his choice. Whatever the future held in store for him next ought to be no more of her concern. 

Still, if she were to speak honestly, the very idea of hurting him created more dread in her heart than hope. 

Whenever a sense of calm touched her spirit, she couldn't help but wonder if it could somehow reach his, too. When she felt peace, she thought about his hunger for it. Whenever the night was quiet and she could almost sleep, she would close her eyes only to see his—haunted and restless.

* * *

He felt her presence before he heard her voice.

"Ben?"

Their connection through the Force no longer felt like a bond, but a pull. And Kylo Ren would never admit to being in favor of its growing strength.

He liked to think that it didn’t torment him. 

The only logical response would have been to shun her, especially considering how he had promised Luke Skywalker that he would destroy this precious student of his. Even in his fit of rage back then the idea of harming her felt hollow, which only reflected in his words, an empty threat which only furthered his uncle's mockery of him.

And mock him, Luke did. The old man had managed to leave a mark on Kylo that resonated even beyond his death — through voices during Kylo’s consciousness and visions of terrors in his sleep.

Unfortunately, Rey had been present to witness one or two of his breakdowns. And now here she was, calling out the name he had long since relinquished. 

He looked at her with feigned indifference and stood up, tall before her, regaining some of his composure as he met her eyes. She didn't weaken under his gaze. If anything, it was he who struggled to ignore the emotions swirling within him — emotions misplaced, unwelcome.

Beneath her defiance, he saw compassion. Warm and open and unashamed. A part of him hungered for it.

"Is this why you're here?" he asked, peering at her with feeble ridicule. "To talk about my feelings?"

She took another challenging step towards him. Ah, the headstrong, stubborn Rey. 

"I saw you last night," she pressed, her voice trembling as her eyes welled with tears. "You were in pain and I felt it." 

He ground his teeth, leaning away and averting his gaze. Her proximity stirred—no, it _pierced_ —something within him. Why she even bothered to show him compassion was beyond him, but it resensitized parts of him he would much rather do without.

His heart, for one. The poor thing turned into a battering ram every time she was in sight.

"Ben, you don't have to be alone."

That gave him pause. It was laughable, coming from her. 

“You abandoned me.”

She recoiled from him, stung by his words. _Good_. "You've made your choice. And so have I."

"Then this ends one way or another. Either I end the Resistance or you kill me and destroy the First Order."

"Don't say that."

There was a beat of silence as tears silently rolled down her cheeks. There were anger and hurt—and at one moment he was almost sure she was going to strike him. But underneath her anger, there was loneliness, too. He could sense it from the moment he saw her. 

One would think that joining the Resistance had provided her the sense of family she had been yearning for, but now it appeared to Kylo that the yearning only grew. Now he wasn't sure if he was glad about it.

"It doesn't have to be this way." 

"You still don't understand, do you?" 

"No, it's _you —_ " she snapped, jabbing a finger at him — "who doesn't understand! I defied my Master's orders, left my friends — I _risked my life_ by going to you..."

With a sob, she took a step back, seemingly regretful of her own outlash. It might have been his humanity catching up to him, but Ben had the sudden, pressing urge to hold her. 

"Rey," he whispered, feeling her drawing away from him. After a few deep breaths, she'd regained her composure, but the same anger simmered in her eyes. 

It was a seething anger that echoed in the Force long after she looked at him one last time and broke their connection.

"Sir?"

Kylo jolted at the sound of the intercom at his door. He pressed one of the buttons along the control on his wrist to answer it. "Yes?"

"We've received intel that a Resistance transport was spotted exiting the Outer Rim Territories," Lieutenant Mitaka informed him. "We believe that they are headed toward a planet along the Unknown Regions."

"Which planet?"

"We're still verifying it. But our sources think that they're looking for a Kijimi scoundrel named Zorri Bliss."

Kylo took pause, the name coming up unfamiliar. His eyes were still on the space where Rey had just now been in as he responded.

"Gather our troops and prepare my ship. We'll pay the planet a visit."

**Author's Note:**

> Please do leave a kudos if you liked it! And also: reviews! 
> 
> I'm also on Tumblr (same username); we could talk there and be friends!!


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